on the fly.

I made a self portrait today
the one I could never complete
could never say
just quite how I saw me
because how I saw me
didn't quite measure up
through your eyes
and though I could've lied
and told myself
I was better than that
I was better than this
I still remained in blues and grey
I still remained through clouds
and that song is playing on the radio
on repeat
and I can't get those lyrics out of my head
the ones that reminded me
of the misery I like to keep for company
but you never liked those words
they were just too sad for you
so you kept your ears on the beat
and even that
was just too slow
and the thump
wasn't in the bass the way you like
and I keep it on the loop,
because I can feel the beat through these veins
and the words hit my heart
before my ears
and you keep saying
its just not that good a song.
I hung my portrait up
just now.
and turned up the radio.